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Hi Beermates,
So I've been running some banner ads for the next few weeks. So far the Party Animals banner is coming in first with Attention Whore second and Tammy Faye and Alice Cooper a close third. Really, it could be anyone's game! To check out the oh so exciting banner race: log in, go to Gold Members Resources and hit Run or View Banner ads. (But please don't run anymore right now, k babycakes?)
--KFK

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Scotvalkyrie sez:

Regarding my dad. . .

Wednesday, Mar. 10, 2010 - 1:02 p.m.


Scotvalkyrie sez:

Tonight is what it means to be in an '80s rock opera movie.

Monday, Mar. 08, 2010 - 12:03 p.m.


Scotvalkyrie sez:

She was also dumb as a rock.

Friday, Mar. 05, 2010 - 2:42 p.m.


Scotvalkyrie sez:

I’ve got the COMMA GUN! STAND BACK!!

Tuesday, Mar. 02, 2010 - 9:06 a.m.


Fun things for your lizard?


Tuesday, Feb. 16, 2010 - 7:56 a.m.

Scotvalkyrie sez:

They had stuck a wound cauterization swab up my nose instead of the nasal swab.

Monday, Feb. 15, 2010 - 1:02 p.m.


How can you not love a holiday that allows you to put fake reindeer antlers on the epitome of evil?


Sunday, Jan. 03, 2010 - 12:19 p.m.

I think she just was secretly relieved I wasn’t painting some extravagant 24 foot long painting of a dingo having sex with Rod Stewart. You know. MODERN ART.


2009-12-16 - 2:43 a.m.

I shot Clerk One a look that should have made his head explode like a melon hit by a cannon ball. Sadly, his head did not explode. You can well imagine my bitterness. I curse my failing powers.


Tuesday, Dec. 15, 2009 - 3:22 p.m.

HOW COULD THIS NOT WORK?


Monday, Dec. 14, 2009 - 4:18 p.m.

"I've been Borg-ed," the spousal unit mock-whined.

I suppose he was, really. When I get an idea in my head resistance is futile.

Tuesday, Dec. 08, 2009 - 7:12 p.m.


The moral of the story: be very, very careful what you wish for.


Friday, Dec. 04, 2009 - 8:39 p.m.

"Oh you can do that," I said to the spousal unit, "but if you do, you're a dead man."


Tuesday, Nov. 24, 2009 - 10:46 a.m.

this large massive machine whooshed and pivoted over the top of her, making weird high-pitched screeches, intermingled with deep Darth Vadar like breathing…sighing…swooning…orgasmic at time. Just witty and him. Darth and Cyberknife Girl.


2009-11-23 - 3:46 p.m.

And then my art class had our annual Halloween party last week, during which weirdness ensued of course, since artists are known for weirdness. I mean we eat weirdness with bologna on rye.


2009-11-05 - 4:02 p.m.

Kn I has new kybard?


Wednesday, Nov. 04, 2009 - 5:15 a.m.

A lesser man would have fled the premises screaming something about mental cruelty.


Monday, Nov. 02, 2009 - 10:31 a.m.

However, if there was a way for him to casually smear my entire person with hand sanitizer every, oh, half hour or so, I'm guessing he would do it.


Thursday, Oct. 29, 2009 - 2:57 p.m.

The only scientist I ever liked in a bolo tie was Isaac Asimov, and he's dead.


Thursday, Oct. 22, 2009 - 9:57 a.m.

You would have thought I had kidnapped one of her cats and taken porno shots of it or something.


2009-10-17 - 11:41 p.m.

You get naked faster than any man I've known!


Sunday, Oct. 11, 2009 - 3:20 p.m.

Why do most of my doctors look like Michael J. Fox? Weird.


2009-10-03 - 2:52 p.m.

Please direct all boredom to the nearest website of anyone who actually has a life.


Saturday, Sept. 26, 2009 - 4:53 p.m.

Feel free to insert the appropriate male/size obsession joke at this juncture.


Tuesday, Sept. 22, 2009 - 10:49 a.m.

This is one of the wonderful parts of aging. The memory weakens. You forget the pain. You can go on.


Sunday, Sept. 20, 2009 - 4:47 p.m.

Knitting takes more time when you can't do it at work anymore.


Sunday, Sept. 20, 2009 - 7:48 a.m.

If I have now stuck you with a Rupert Holmes earbird, my work is done here.


Saturday, Sept. 19, 2009 - 10:45 a.m.

Infidel!


Friday, Sept. 18, 2009 - 8:05 p.m.

I’m not a squeamish person, ordinarily. I’ve patched cracked heads, abrasions, broken fingers, fishing accidents, knife wounds and ripped tendons… but something about seeing a chunk of Jordy’s berries in a bottle of formaldehyde- I very nearly passed out like a fainting goat in the Family clinic next to a decrepit old man and a frazzled woman with a 3 year old child.


Wednesday, Sept. 16, 2009 - 1:04 a.m.

Didn't I order a cheeseburger?


Monday, Sept. 14, 2009 - 7:59 p.m.

...she has a very short attention span these days and prefers writing only one sentence updates instead of lengthy whine-fests, since funny can only go so far when your life makes the movie “Titanic” look like a Seth Rogan Sex Romp..


2009-09-14 - 1:27 a.m.

Just go buy a car, already.


Tuesday, Sept. 08, 2009 - 9:52 p.m.

In other words, when he's thinking about golf, he ain't thinking about any holes other than the standard front and back nine.


Tuesday, Sept. 08, 2009 - 7:36 a.m.

And I think that was somehow a HIPAA violation too, but I think the Hubster won’t rat me out.


Sunday, Sept. 06, 2009 - 9:20 p.m.

Much of it makes no sense today, including a fanfic about Data from ST:TNG and Mrs. C from Happy Days, in which Data explains that he is fully functional and programmed in multiple techniques, to which Mrs C, of course, replies, "Data! Are you getting frisky?"


Sunday, Sept. 05, 2009 - 7:32 a.m.

Launching Pigs For Fun and Profit.


Wednesday, Sept. 02, 2009 - 6:06 a.m.

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