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Hi Beermates,
So I've been running some banner ads for the next few weeks. So far the Party Animals banner is coming in first with Attention Whore second and Tammy Faye and Alice Cooper a close third. Really, it could be anyone's game! To check out the oh so exciting banner race: log in, go to Gold Members Resources and hit Run or View Banner ads. (But please don't run anymore right now, k babycakes?)
--KFK

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And what does he want me to sing? Wind. Beneath. My. Fucking. Wings. I swear, if I haven't shot myself by then, I might have to do it in the middle of that song.


Sunday, Sept. 12, 2004 - 3:41 p.m.

I was told that they can see it from Connecticut.


Sunday, Sept. 12, 2004 - 4:02 p.m.

Let he without dust bunnies cast the first Swiffer.


Sunday, Sept. 12, 2004 - 2:16 p.m.

i just sneezed out my front tooth.


Friday, Sept. 10, 2004 - 10:48 p.m.

Inquire within.


Friday, Sept. 10, 2004 - 10:47 p.m.

I buzzed it while giving the "We Do Not Disfigure Ourselves By Ruining Perfectly Good Haircuts, For Christ's Sake, What, Are You NUTS?" speech, reprints of which are probably available in Family Circle or some other inane Mommy Magazine; and the J-Man was fairly cool with this, rubbing the fuzzy top of his head.


Friday, Sept. 10, 2004 - 10:45 p.m.

Despite intense grilling on my part, not one of the cats cracked and 'fessed up. So the perpetrator of the tweeticide remains at large.


Friday, Sept. 10, 2004 - 9:58 p.m.

“I love my undercover hippy wife but as God as my witness, I can NOT explain to my friends that we’re moving to a yurt!” (Ah, but that is the beauty of a yurt. The yurt moves to YOU, my friend.)


Friday, Sept. 10, 2004 - 2:14 p.m.

Ivan is a different story, though. Category Five – whether you find hurricanes exciting or terrifying, there is something fascinating about a storm that big, and they don’t come along that often.


Friday, Sept. 10, 2004 - 10:34 a.m.

It's a brilliant concept for a show, and so far, the stunt casting is keeping it to a couple of thickheaded pretty people, a midget, and one completely insane asshole who needs to have a cataclysmic heart attack or aneurism live on TV


Friday, Sept. 10, 2004 - 10:32 a.m.

I can't say I wish that I knew why he did what he did, because I do know. I have been there - maybe not in Aaron's head but in a dark, dark place that promised no respite, and I do understand.


Friday, Sept. 10, 2004 - 10:25 a.m.

If I raised my arms above my head, not one, but both of my boobs emerged and performed a vigorous halftime show of their very own.


Friday, Sept. 10, 2004 - 10:24 a.m.

My most beloved freelancer went on vacation and brought me back a bottle of Choco Vanillagator choco-vanilla extract. I'm very excited. A world of possibilities has just opened for me.


Friday, Sept. 10, 2004 - 10:22 a.m.

I don’t get mad at my cat when he gets like this. Honestly it’s only a phase. Just last summer Ash saw Farrakhan speak on BET and decided that he was going to be a Black Muslim.


Friday, Sept. 10, 2004 - 10:16 a.m.

The lovely
Marn will once again be running for the cure this October. Despite her own recent diagnosis of skin cancer. And that right there is the clincher, people. She's got an operation coming up but she's putting aside her own discomfort to make a run to help save the lives of people she's never met.


Wednesday, Sept. 08, 2004 - 5:27 p.m.

He is the Omega Teacher - the template from which all other inferior intellectuals were incorrectly formed, and he knows better! He can see through the facade you've been hiding behind for all these years to the truth - you...secretly...suck!


Wednesday, Sept. 08, 2004 - 4:52 p.m.



Wednesday, Sept. 08, 2004 - 2:56 p.m.

I looked like a bathroom stall by time they were finished.


Tuesday, Sept. 07, 2004 - 11:30 p.m.

I am scared, and I find it impossible to put the whole mess on the shelf and detangle the tendrils of fear that are choking me and preventing me from sleeping.


Tuesday, Sept. 07, 2004 - 11:27 p.m.

Does Christy want Nick to join her in the jacuzzi for hot times? Or a BLOODBATH?


Tuesday, Sept. 07, 2004 - 11:17 p.m.

A couple of moments later I saw the cop behind me, only this time his bike looked a little different, what with all the flashing blue and red lights.


Tuesday, Sept. 07, 2004 - 11:10 p.m.

Last night as we worked I could feel the gentle tingle of the last of the planet's smug molecules drifting past me towards the spousal unit who is now officially the planet's epicenter of smugness.


Tuesday, Sept. 07, 2004 - 4:42 p.m.

"What do cool people like Joey & Tracy do on a Friday night?"


Monday, Sept. 06, 2004 - 9:48 p.m.

I am officially declaring this holiday as REDBULL AND VODKA WEEKEND.


Monday, Sept. 06, 2004 - 9:45 p.m.

Summer Slacker Girl has been bound and gagged and stuffed into a closet where she is desperately trying to remember the safe word. (Note: it’s “Captain Hook”)


Monday, Sept. 06, 2004 - 9:45 p.m.

So basically I'm one DJ away from moving to Bel-Air and keeping things as fresh as I possibly can.


Monday, Sept. 06, 2004 - 9:43 p.m.

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