12% NEWS:

Hi Beermates,
So I've been running some banner ads for the next few weeks. So far the Party Animals banner is coming in first with Attention Whore second and Tammy Faye and Alice Cooper a close third. Really, it could be anyone's game! To check out the oh so exciting banner race: log in, go to Gold Members Resources and hit Run or View Banner ads. (But please don't run anymore right now, k babycakes?)

Join the Notifylist:


January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April Fools 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
Sept/Oct 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July/August 2008
September 2008
Just Opened
Stale Beer 2006
Stale Beer 2005
Stale Beer 2004
Stale Beer 2003


Golf Widow
Groovy Decay
Metal Eve
Mr. Fabulous



Jesus Christ! It smells like a Fry Guy crawled in here to die!

Saturday, Aug. 21, 2004 - 8:39 p.m.

My brother said that one day when Kitty's a juvenile delinquent, we'll know to thank The Crow and the Ozzfest for it.

Friday, Aug. 20, 2004 - 7:28 p.m.

Friday, Aug. 20, 2004 - 7:27 p.m.

I can handle a lot of geeks, hell, I can be a lot of geeks, but those guys just creep my shit out worse than that clown from Poltergeist.

Friday, Aug. 20, 2004 - 7:22 p.m.

I was totally pooped. I mean that in the "exhausted" way, and not in the "a big bird took a dump on me" way.

Thursday, Aug. 19, 2004 - 8:22 p.m.

Farts rule. Have a good weekend.

Thursday, Aug. 19, 2004 - 8:20 p.m.

Happy Thursday. Pray for good weather, great fun, and cheap drinks.

Thursday, Aug. 19, 2004 - 8:19 p.m.

"Jesus, Jessica! Don't give me any 'Poor Little Rich Girl' Bullshit!"

Thursday, Aug. 19, 2004 - 8:15 p.m.

Dude, shut the hell up, you're trying to sell me satellite TV that you don't even own from halfway across the world. Fuck you, Josh, that's not cool.

Thursday, Aug. 19, 2004 - 2:29 p.m.

Personally, I don't mind volleyball too much. And since we're two retards away from putting Olympic Hungry Hungry Hippos in the lineup, I think it's a pretty nice improvement over what's usually on TV.

Wednesday, Aug. 18, 2004 - 2:17 p.m.

When I think of accidents, I think of broken things, things that have come apartóa dropped coffee cup shattered on a wood floor. (CLICK, last part)

Wednesday, Aug. 18, 2004 - 10:51 a.m.

Fuck you, ya fuck! Always nay-saying. YOU create something... like using a "CH" instead of a hard "T"!


Wednesday, Aug. 18, 2004 - 9:35 a.m.

Wednesday, Aug. 18, 2004 - 10:40 a.m.

I wouldn't complain were this person to bear resemblance to Jude Law, but at this point I'm not picky, he could look like Danny DeVito or even Condoleeza Rice.

Wednesday, Aug. 18, 2004 - 10:38 a.m.

Sample Thoughts from a Californian: "Oh my Gosh! You're so fat! Algebra is pointless, so I'm not going to worry! I fucked your mom!"

Wednesday, Aug. 18, 2004 - 10:36 a.m.

I saw Moe shirtless and he is looking both Manorexic and Tanorexic. Plus he has nipples the size of dinner plates.

Wednesday, Aug. 18, 2004 - 10:33 a.m.

Because the best way to show how much you love someone is to emphasize that they bug the shit right out of you. And it is also very important to demonstrate this to a national audience.

Wednesday, Aug. 18, 2004 - 10:29 a.m.

"no...MY cat is the cutest cat ever!!!"

Wednesday, Aug. 18, 2004 - 10:27 a.m.

If there is one thing that the slide show of Greece taught me, itís that they donít really have a sense of civic planning, they like their laundry out of doors, and there are fucking donkeys everywhere. Donkeys here, donkeys there, donkeys in a box, in some socks, you fucking name it, and thereís a damned donkey there.

Wednesday, Aug. 18, 2004 - 10:27 a.m.

You know when you're little and your parents tell you that if you have ONE good friend in your life, that's a lot? HOW FUCKING TRUE.

Wednesday, Aug. 18, 2004 - 10:23 a.m.

If I can save just one person from the evils that live between Leroy's butt cheeks, I feel my life has made a difference.

Wednesday, Aug. 18, 2004 - 9:58 a.m.

Let it be said that although hanging out in Jersey will probably make you gay; hanging out in Connecticut will turn you into a stupid frat boy almost instantly.

Wednesday, Aug. 18, 2004 - 9:55 a.m.

There will probabaly be some unplanned stops but hopefully they'll be because we had to pick up lonely/sexy hithhikers and not because the van blew up or something. I'm Pro-Lonely/Sexy Hitchhikers and very Anti-Blowing up.

Wednesday, Aug. 18, 2004 - 8:54 a.m.

(if you donít count sex, of course, which isnít really a joy but rather an itch that you canít reach and it has been driving you completely insane and lower no over right no the other right oh my god, yes, thatís it, scratch that mutha, scratch it oh fuck yes my god harder harder harder yes yes FUCKING YES)

Tuesday, Aug. 17, 2004 - 8:12 p.m.

Mr. Pibb & I spend half our days walking around the apartment... sniffing!

Tuesday, Aug. 17, 2004 - 5:48 p.m.

I imagine them in the break room, high fiving over how red somebody's face became when he engaged in what should arguably be a simple task, like paying tuition. UT Tyler got phat cash that day, and so did Bob, office record-holder for the most broken souls.

Tuesday, Aug. 17, 2004 - 7:24 p.m.

Dad: You're a moron. I raised you and taught you and sent you to college and you're a moron.

Tuesday, Aug. 17, 2004 - 4:09 p.m.

Not unless you can call out of work for it. "Hey boss, can't come in today, my threat fatigue is flairing up again. I put some ice on it, but it looks like it might take a day or two for the swelling to go down."

Tuesday, Aug. 17, 2004 - 4:32 p.m.

After the accident, one flavour at a time was satisfying enough. (part three)

Tuesday, Aug. 17, 2004 - 11:22 a.m.

A robin landed on the lawn and looked first at her, his head cocked, black beady eyes glittering, then looked steadily at me as though sharing a secret. (part two)

Tuesday, Aug. 17, 2004 - 11:20 a.m.

My sister went blind at the age of twenty-five.

Monday, Aug. 16, 2004 - 5:28 p.m.

Iím too busy being the last person to notice that computers are pretty neato.

Monday, Aug. 16, 2004 - 8:14 p.m.

4. I gave him a choice of the bouncy balls, and he chose the pretty yelllow one that I wanted.

Monday, Aug. 16, 2004 - 8:11 p.m.

It's actually the pigeons almost flying into my head that startle me more than the 1-ton metal vehicles, if that makes ANY sense at all.

Monday, Aug. 16, 2004 - 8:10 p.m.

Can I access databases of files on my dishwasher's soap-to-novelty-burger-king-cup ratio from my cellphone or PDA?

Monday, Aug. 16, 2004 - 11:20 a.m.

Monday, Aug. 16, 2004 - 11:00 a.m.

I am not the only one in this house who is sick. We have an ailing wandering Jew on our porch, and the cats have been eating it, and now all three of them are vomiting all over the house.

Sunday, Aug. 15, 2004 - 7:39 p.m.

You probably want to set up another e-mail account than sxygrl6969 or studTOM. While I do not doubt your obvious faith in your own bootyliciousness, itís not going to help with the job hunt.

Sunday, Aug. 15, 2004 - 7:36 p.m.

Itís gotten to the point where I wake in the middle of the night to find empty water bottles littered across my bed, my stomach and bladder bloated, and my daughter clinging to my lifeless hand, weeping, ďMommy, please donít drink anymore!Ē

Sunday, Aug. 15, 2004 - 7:33 p.m.

She is still in her stage clothes, which consists of leather pants, and a ripped up Aerosmith t-shirt. Estefan makes her wear that because he thinks itís ironic.

Sunday, Aug. 15, 2004 - 7:30 p.m.

As I hurtled over fences I garnered mad respect by singing The Beatles' "Come Together" but lost it once somebody pointed out that it sounded a lot more like the lame Aerosmith cover.

Sunday, Aug. 15, 2004 - 7:28 p.m.

Hosted by Diaryland