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Hi Beermates,
So I've been running some banner ads for the next few weeks. So far the Party Animals banner is coming in first with Attention Whore second and Tammy Faye and Alice Cooper a close third. Really, it could be anyone's game! To check out the oh so exciting banner race: log in, go to Gold Members Resources and hit Run or View Banner ads. (But please don't run anymore right now, k babycakes?)
--KFK

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Guy: Hi, do you need a light?

Sarah: No, I smoke; ergo I carry a lighter. Thanks though.

Guy: Yeah. So, do you live around here?

Sarah: No, I live in Bergen County.

Guy: I live here.

Sarah: Great.

[long pause, as Guy is clearly looking at my breasts]

Guy: You have a really great smile.

Sarah: Do you live with your parents?

Guy: Uhm. Yes.

Sarah: In the basement or in your childhood bedroom?

Guy: In my childhood bedroom.

Sarah: And how old are you?

Guy: 28.

Sarah: And you have a job?

Guy: Yeah, I work in the city.

Sarah: Interesting. How is all that working out for you?

Guy: I have a boat.

04.01.07 - 7:56 p.m.


I was only at that apartment a few times, but Doug, was by far the more affable of the two, discussing his latest coital conquest's desire to pierce her labia.

April 01, 2007 - 2:21 p.m.

How to paint the Mona Lisa with MS Paint....

04.01.07 - 2:01 p.m.

C: Have I been especially infuriating lately?
B: No, you've just been completely spacey.

2007-04-01 - 10:12 a.m.



2007-04-01 - 10:06 a.m.

Oh, sweet tap-dancing fucking jebus. I�m watching American Idol, and I�m watching that little fruitcake Sanjaya sing �Bathwater� by No Doubt. It�s painful and hilarious and sad all at once. At least he�s pretty.

2007-04-01 - 11:11 a.m.

That car's front end was now firmly implanted in my mother's trunk door. The rear end of the car looked like a big piece of paper I had crumpled in my hands.

Sunday, Apr. 01, 2007 - 10:27 a.m.

Suddenly I realize that someone very near me was singing along to The Grateful Dead's "Truckin"

Sunday, Apr. 01, 2007 - 10:24 a.m.

I'm running out of ways to say "kiss my ass." And it's a darn shame too, because there are some people I know right now who are in desperate need of a nice "kiss my ass" shout-out.

04.01.07 - 9:43 a.m.

Someone took a dump in the urinal at my work.

04.01.07 - 9:21 a.m.

I'm all... COOL! Can I, like, TRAIN my geese to do this? Because I so seriously need some evil feathered honking hissing minions of death and destruction.

2007-04-01 - 2:36 a.m.

Brian attacks and I parry, slipping around to his back, taking out his knees along the way. What�s this I see, peaking out of the top of his kung pants? Is it a boxer shorts waistband? I grabbed the waistband of Brian�s shorts and pulled, giving him a monumental wedgie.

2007-04-01 - 2:34 a.m.



04.01.07 - 4:45 a.m.

In fact, it's been way too long since I've seen a naked person in real life. Honest. It's sad. I haven't gotten laid in years.

04.01.07 - 4:42 a.m.

Think back to when you were a little tot. Maybe 5 years old. Are you there? Now try and remember how you would have filled in this blank: "When I grow up, I want to be a ____________." Astronaut? Fireman? President? Ballerina? Crack addict?

04.01.07 - 12:19 a.m.

Imagine! Just imagine the havoc that could be being caused by the heliobacter pylori within my gut! I could be pray to anything. Anything! Gastroenteritis! Upset tum tums! Unusual farting sounds!

Though the farting sounds might be quite amusing.

04.01.07 - 12:17 a.m.

My lovely, but nearly retarded friend Sue knows that I don't smoke. When she travels with me, she understands that she is responsible for stuffing her bra with her own pot as I will be unable to help her acquire any. It's always exciting to see what she will pull out of her bra. I call them party boobs.

04.01.07 - 12:09 a.m.

Data looked up at the captain wishing he knew how to quit him.

04.01.07 - 12:03 a.m.

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