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for making sure Twelve Percent Beer is golden for the next two years. Yes, you heard right, two whole frickin' years. Now go over there and lick her high heeled shoes, because you know you want to. Mwah!
--KFK
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Weetabix
I have discovered that I, too, can be the type of asshole tourist who goes to a new place without learning anything at all about its history or culture and does nothing at all but sit around in the sun idly poking at a barbeque. Hurrah! Next I will learn that language barriers can be overcome by shouting at foreigners.
05.15.08 - 3:06 p.m.
Man, some people can sleep anywhere.
Wednesday, May. 14, 2008 - 7:57 a.m.
“Watch out! Fat Woman on a Bicycle!”
Monday, May. 12, 2008 - 8:44 a.m.
I had this cunning plan.
Sunday, May. 11, 2008 - 10:34 a.m.
It's not lying, exactly. It's more, um, truthiness.
Friday, May. 09, 2008 - 10:02 a.m.
Alas, I am my father's daughter.
Thursday, May. 08, 2008 - 9:37 p.m.
First guy popped up on my Instant Message: ”Hi! Blah, blah, blah! Do you want to know what I do for a living?” I was trying to be friendly, even though I was terrified he might type: “Serial killer and I’m standing outside your window.”
2008-05-08 - 3:58 p.m.
(and I’m not quite sure who exactly the ghastly ones were supposed to be in the film, so I’m accusing everyone even remotely involved, including the little rabbit)
Thursday, May. 08, 2008 - 8:54 a.m.
What they don't tell you about is the goddamned flying sheep.
Wednesday, May. 07, 2008 - 7:47 a.m.
Initially, I thought I'd put my contact lenses on inside-out again, but it turns out that I have miraculously developed the ability to read auras.
May 06, 2008 - 2:51 p.m.
I don't yet know how I can repair this, but at least I've uncovered the stupidity.
05.06.08 - 10:01 a.m.
“What’s that - the Canadian James Bond?”
“Yeah. Along with ‘Dr Sorry’.”
“And ‘Licence to Admonish’. And ‘Octobeaver’.”
05.06.08 - 8:07 a.m.
I have some movie called
Seeds of Sin
(which I think is a double feature with the movie
Perpetual Holy Bleeding Dagger through the Skull
. . .no wait, that’s the Catholic school I went to. Never mind.)
Monday, May. 05, 2008 - 9:27 a.m.
05.02.08 - 4:28 p.m.
Unlike real prom, being late for Blog Prom is not a sin punishable by death or worse (worse being ostracism by one's peers till graduation, which is when one realizes that none of it matters any more, including algebra).
05.01.08 - 7:34 a.m.
First of all I found out that I was 18,340 days old. No wonder I keep needing a nap. That’s almost as old as Larry King and his socks added together.
2008-05-01 - 1:54 a.m.
I guess that’s what separates the saves from the damned. That, and a strict dress code.
05.01.08 - 1:01 p.m.
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